bachelor days one

Oh, I didn’t want to cook today. I wanted Pad Thai. Partly because I’m sick and tired and the last thing I want to do after wrassling a Beast into bed is sauté an onion. Partly because I don’t know how to cook any more. Man has been donning the apron since Beast arrived. I can’t even warm up soup properly. Anyway, I prepped some veg while I fed the Beast, all the while hoping that the ’13’ on this can of coconut milk means that it expires this year. Is there a reason that expiry dates have to be so baffling? There should be an international standard, adhered to under penalty of botulism.  Or a small fine.

There is also some bourgeois hand peeled shrimp and an old rejected piece of baked potato.

I was going to just eat it plain, but after 10 minutes in the pan, it was just screaming for some rice. So 25 minutes later, here I am with a bowl of Shrimp Thai Green Curry!

And it tastes absolutely nothing like Papaya Hut.

buy more wool

Of course you need to buy more wool. Don’t think you shouldn’t. You need the inspiration that only a fresh hank will get you. If you cut a few corners, I’m sure you can afford one little ball. What’s 50 grams anyway?

1. Use coupons. Save.ca will mail them to your house. So will P&G. 50 cents here and there is a ball in your hand before you know it. I’m not one of those people who organises coupons into binders or anything. I am one of those people who does that with knitting patterns, though. Ok. Organise is quite a strong word.

2. Shop the flyers. I got a kilo of pasta for $1.50 the other day. Sure, there’s nicer pasta out there. Use it on a day when you have time to create a meal. Otherwise, just eat a bowl of spaghetti and sauce and get back to your knitting! Christmas is only 11 months away.

3. I have recently discovered the term destash. Not sure I should ever have done that. It is unlikely I could sell my wool off, but maybe you could. Couldn’t give it away either, although I’d like to go to the Knit Social Yarn Swap.

4. Go to the library. They have books on knitting. You may have to place a hold, but while you wait, you can knit. You just found some extra time to work on that project. Bonus.

5. Walk or take the bus. If you don’t have to concentrate on driving, you can dream up new projects. Hours of planning time! A tank of gas is close to $50 these days. Seriously, how much wool could you buy with that. Especially if Michaels has a 25% off your entire purchase coupon. Aw geez, that’s a lot of wool.

6. Join the Meatless Monday revolution. It can also take some time to cook meat and you should be knitting. It’s kinda sorta supposed to be vegan, but boiling all those grains can take time too. Shakshuka is a new standby at my house. Move your project out of the way because those tomatoes can stain.

7. Skip the dryer. I saw these beautifully colourful, hand-crafted wooden airing cupboards that sit over the heat registers. Can’t find them right now. That is my dream dryer. Instead I have a wire one from CT that will barely stand. I can only hang socks on it. Wool shrinks in the dryer anyway. And the washer. Whatever.

8. Lunapads. I haven’t done the maths on this, but if you start young enough I’m sure it will add up. Buy some for some African chicks too, so they can go to school and learn to knit.

9. Restaurants? Don’t bother. They probably won’t let you knit at the table anyway. I was never really in to restaurants, preferring to get drunk in a bar. Then I was lured by convenience. But sometimes it takes an hour for people to bring food to your house. Do you know what I could cook in an hour? Stirfry, freezer chili and rice, frittata. You know what I can cook in 10 minutes? Popcorn. Buttery, saltery popcorn. Now get back to your knitting. Restaurant food isn’t that great anyway, especially if it comes from a ‘heat-it-up-gourmet-premade-vacuum-packed-food-systems’ kind of place. That’s another lamb shank flavoured rant.

10. Stop washing your hair. Or at least just buy some Prell and get on with it. Use bar soap on everything. Make-up? You’re gorgeous already! Stop buying that stuff that makes your house smell. It’s weird, disgusting, and will probably poison you. Vinegar and water cleans quite nicely. You don’t need to use all the detergent they tell you to either, and your clothes will smell just fine. When felting, you don’t need detergent at all. Another bonus. Just wait until you see my giant sock. Giant. Sock.

Now you have 10 ways to save money for wool. I will be at Baaad Anna’s this Saturday, spending my hoarded pennies on wool. Maybe Sunday too. I just can’t resist a sale. As a bonus, there’s a play area for Beast, who was not happy when she wasn’t allowed to rip all the ball bands off at Michaels. Of course, you rip, you buy……….

worst crocheter ever

Need I say more?

Look at that wonky edge. I know why it happens every time. I’m too lazy to count stitches and too arrogant to see crocheting as a challenge. The result is that I never know which is the turning chain and which is the stitch. I see the wonk and I let it continue. Ripping it out is not an option. So there it is: the wonkiest placemat in existence.